Masters of Bovine Administration

It was a stimulating learning environment. The cow stopped chewing to change cuds. There was a knock on the door and it paused mid-swallow. It wasn't a very easy thing to do; many a cow had choked trying to stop mid-swallow. It could have continued swallowing but a certain intellectual curiosity overrode the lower levels of its Maslow pyramid. Besides, this wasn't going to take much time; after all, it had got where it was by being able to synthesize new knowledge rapidly.

Someone knocked again and the cow resumed chewing. It was committed to learn and excel but it wasn't going to wait around doing nothing till the versatile and stimulating individuals who would contribute actively to the learning process at the other side of the barn door decided to get actively involved in their milieu. So it chewed cud and kept an eye on the door. The door opened slightly and the cow stopped chewing.

It's broad range of personal and professional experiences had taught it that people who are ethically-minded don't step in unannounced, even if the door was unlocked. It scattered the hay at its feet, revealing a panic button. If triggered, it would bring in dogs with strong values and unwavering integrity, led by a rooster who had demonstrated the ability to motivate and orchestrate teams and individuals.

There was a hurried whispering on the other side of the door, and everything was quiet again. The cow usually liked the quiet, it contributed to a rich and stimulating learning environment. But this wasn't the usual quiet. It was more like the calm before the storm, and the cow didn't like storms. Storms made talking difficult and marked for naught it's strong interpersonal skills. It swallowed it's cud and made a mental note to get more cows in the barn before Christmas.

It would be difficult though; most cows preferred to stay out in the meadow instead of coming to the barn to expand their professional horizons. The cow was one of a kind - self-motivated and with solid intellectual ability. It didn't just want to be milked, it wanted to know why. That was a question that drove most cows mad, but maybe it wouldn't have to come to that.

It had been stuck in the barn for two weeks now, with no answer in sight. But it had demonstrated initiative, integrity and strong motivation in academic and professional pursuits, so it knew it had the potential to succeed as a leader in a competitive, global, business environment even if the question remained unanswered.

It inched a hoof towards the panic button. Boards creaked above it. They were on the roof! It pressed the panic button knowing it was too late. It felt their little feet on its hide, smelled the fresh blood staining the hay and heard a soft voice whisper "Beef."